i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
