I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize