At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
