Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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