Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
