Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
