a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
