I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
