On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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