im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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