flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize