Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
