just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
