Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
