I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
