she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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