Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
