This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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