There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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