12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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