i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
