I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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