I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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