Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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