WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
