he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
