So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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