This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
