If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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