Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I need to align my fucking chakras
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
