Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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