I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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