its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
