Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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