Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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