so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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