Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
