Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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