I want to have your abortion
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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