Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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