Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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