Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
