Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
