dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
