Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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