I think I died a long time ago.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
