i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize