Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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