This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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