It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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