Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My vagina is very pro this idea
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
