remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
