my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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