I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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