You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize