it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So. Much. Porn.
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