eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
We smell like vodka and hangover
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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