i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize